Another Year Older but None the Wiser?

Well today is March 31st, which marks the day that I was born. I don’t normally make a huge deal about the day, but last year (2007) March 31st, also marked a couple milestones (for lack of a better word) in my adult life.

1) A day of heartache
Normally, people tend to have good experiences on their birthday, because it’s a birthday. You would think that nothing could go wrong. But you do occasionally get that “birthday you’ll never forget”. And for some people that birthday you never forget is because something life-altering happens.

For me, my 27th birthday was the day that I first experienced true heartache because it was the day that my boyfriend (Philip) at the time broke up with me. Granted, I was the one that caused the relationship to go sour, but it was a heart-breaking loss for me at the time.

Nobody ever really wants to experience something bad on their birthday, but life doesn’t really care what day of the year it is, it’ll throw at you whatever it wants, whenever it wants. Despite my behaviour and the gravity of the situation between he and I, he remained surprisingly calm and very supportive after our break up. He even went so far as to call me a couple of days later and to make sure I was handling everything okay. He also helped me see that it’s best for us to remain friends. I’m glad to still have him in my life as a friend and realize that many others aren’t so lucky to remain friends after forming such a close bond.

2) Laying it all on the table
Because the break up mentioned above caused me quite a bit of emotional pain, I was crying on the day of my birthday. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were scheduled to come over for dinner later that evening.

My parents overheard me crying in my room around lunch time and asked me what was wrong. At first I was reluctant to tell them anything because I had already had enough to deal with, what with the break up and all. But they reassured me that whatever it was, that they would help me work through it and support me no matter what. That’s when I pretty much spilled my guts out to them. I came out of the closet and told them that I had just hurt my boyfriend and felt so horrible about it.

My parents took it pretty well considering everything I had just dumped on them. But I couldn’t tell whether they were taking it well simply because I was so emotionally distraught or because they were genuinely alright with everything I had just told them. So I really couldn’t gauge how well they took the news. I sat down with my parents a couple of weeks after that and we talked everything out and our relationship seems to be back on track now. They treat me the same as they did before and I try to be more open and honest with them.

So today I turn 28, but I think the experiences I’ve gone through in the past year have helped shape who I am. I’m more comfortable about who I am and more importantly don’t have to “pretend” to be someone I’m not, particularly around my parents, which is a nice feeling.

It’s funny to think that if you had come to me two years ago and told me that everything I’ve experience in the past year was going to happen, I would have most likely laughed in your face. I always thought that my coming out to my parents would happen in a much different way. But I guess what the experience has taught me is that nothing in life really ever goes as you plan and that you need to be able to adapt to any given situation.

Q: Am I upset that things turned out the way they did?

A: No because I feel quite relieved that I no longer have to hide part of who I am from my family. Of course it would have been nice if things happened a little differently but really that’s not something I can’t change. It’s done with, and all I can really do is learn from the experience and grow from it.

So I may be a year older but I’m probably not any wiser. What I do know is that I am a lot happier, that’s for sure.  I’ve got a great family and great friends to surround me, so I really couldn’t ask for anything more…accept maybe a pony. But then again I don’t know how to ride horses so it’s probably best I don’t get a pony.  Oh well…one can dream.